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One of THOSE mothers!

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slycass	One of THOSE mothers!	Lead	[-]
Posts: 353 (20/07/08 09:13:13) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	Tags : None Yes, its happened - I've turned into one of those mothers. After two years of biting my tongue I finally had my say to my boy's soccer manager. Finley is 9 and not the best soccer player in the world but he loves it. For the last two weeks he has only played 1/2 a game because the coach deemed them to be important matches and left his best players on the field - this has been happening quite a lot over the last couple of years and I can see why he does it but on the flip side, my kid sits there and feels like he is not part of the team. Finley starts the game week after week on the on bench and I'm the one who has to try and get his confidence up again. The coach also does the same thing to 2 other kids. Yesterday after the game, which they lost 3 - 0 (all of which scored while Finley was off), the boy said that he didn't want to play today, Sunday, (in some special cup thing) and didn't want to play next year either. I find this particularly sad when everyone in the world is trying to encourage kids to play more sport and he has been playing soccer for 5 years. There is just so many times you can say to a kid "you are part of a team" or "you owe it to your team to go on". I tried to be nice about it but I'm sure I came off sounding like a bitch. I just felt I had to stick up for my kid. I'm almost in tears writing this as I want to make things right for my boy and hate to see him hurting week after week. I think we will now look into something Martial Arts-y for him to do. Sorry for the rant but I really was at the end of my tether.
mixium		#1	[-]
Posts: 5098 (20/07/08 09:38:43) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	shakes her naive head There's important games for kids under 10 years old? Maybe I missed the memo telling us that FUN isn't the most important thing anymore... "There's got to be a reason to this rhyme."
VenetianSpring		#2	[-]
Posts: 63 (20/07/08 18:54:23) Honorary Aussie Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	When I was about 12-15 I used to play volleyball and I had the same problem. The coach was so success oriented, and while I wasn't a bad player, I was certainly not one of the best, and I often felt left out. It seems to be even worse these days! When you're a kid, the most important thing is that you play some sport and interact. Your son's coach is an idiot, plain and simple.
pickle12		#3	[-]
Posts: 695 (21/07/08 13:32:45) Lonely Satellite Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	What an idiot coach that dude is. I have played Basketball at quite a high level and coached quite a few teams in my teens and 20's. The last team I coached for 2-3yrs where a bunch of young crazy girls who could not play to save themselves. They lost almost every game.Yes there were better players in the team but everyone had a fair go and we all had a laugh (mainly at ourselves) - this is the team I recall the most out of all the teams I have coached. They never gave up and looked forward to every game and training session - I still admire those girls for sticking to it when they could have packed it in but I never gave up on them even when I moved to the other side of Sydney. I was having too much fun! One game they made a bet that if they got to 40 points by half time I had to buy them all a can of Coke - 10 cans of coke were duly purchased ! They never made 40 points for an entire game before or after that game but who cares. In my opinion the Coach has a huge responsibility to tap into kids strengths and work on there weaknesses and most importantly play as a team. Not to mention have fun. Let's hope this coach takes some action in his coaching style now that you have had a word in his ear! Love and Warm Chocolatey Hugs!
dinkie99		#4	[-]
Posts: 1870 (21/07/08 13:54:12) The finger Simon loves to lick Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	Cass, I'm so sorry this has happened to Finley and you as well. I know you have mentioned before how much Finley enjoys soccer, and I think it is such a shame the coach is more worried about the winning result than the children's confidence and self esteem. Can't you maybe join him up with another team in your area? Or maybe contact the administrators of the current soccer club? Surely sport on a junior level should be more about fun than winning and having a coach that favours some players over others is wrong. Poor sweet heart, I hope he finds another sport or activity he really loves, and maybe he will excel at it and forget the crap this coach has put him through. If I were you I would take it further or change clubs. Janine "Pretty looking road I try to hold the rising floods that fill my skin"
Strapped to a Windmill		#5	[-]
Posts: 724 (21/07/08 16:47:57) A Canadian Kiwi Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	Adults cause so many problems and heartaches for children, and a lot of the time it's the people who are supposed to "care the most" about them. Sport is a tricky area with kids. It's important to play and learn sportsmanship, skills, teamwork, etc, but a lot of coaches are looking to cultivate the next big stars. The best athletes generally started young. But that is supposed to be why there are usually 2 leagues in every sport - competative and non competative. Coaches as well as kids need to be placed in the league that is appropriate for them, and if the coach isn't the best and doesn't get the competative job, he should not be allowed to bring his issues and ambitions to the other league teams. I think parents need to voice their concerns, and sooner rather than later. You don't have to be aggressive about it, but at the same time, some people are too dense to see what's happening unless it's pointed out to them. And if enough ppl say the same thing, maybe someone will listen. *Strapped to a Windmill*
ladylibertydownunder		#6	[-]
Posts: 3518 (21/07/08 18:29:10) Doesn't have to be serious Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	agrees with Strappy Believe it or not, we even get it from other teachers from other schools at inter-school sport - there have been incidents of teachers cheating with results so that their school's team gets through to the finals! It's okay to be parochial (I know I am, I cheer our kids on BIG TIME)but to CHEAT? Unbelieveable! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that Cass - it's never nice when you have to take steps like that. The brightest star on the Walk of Fame.........
kathdownunder		#7	[-]
Posts: 4476 (23/07/08 19:19:18) Simon LeBon is sex on toast! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	my poor Cass I feel for you and your son - I am very glad Ben's team (Under 7) does not have that problem, getting routinely beaten 10 and 11 to 1 on a weekly basis. BUT the Coach/Manager always reinforce that they all had fun, and they come back week in week out, getting flogged. I think you were right to speak to the Coach, and perhaps even go to whoever organises the Under 9s in your club - that is not right, on so many levels (funnily enough, other U7 teams do that against Beecroft all the time, even when their team is winning 7-1, which doesnt teach the kids anything about sportmanship) Cass - one of THOSE mothers are the ones who coach from the sideline (even when winning 11-1) and it makes me sick to the stomach. I say 'Go Ben' whenever he gets the ball, mainly to encourage him to have a go (and so he knows I am watching him) all the parents in our team do it (so we dont say it much! lol) and no more, as per our club rules It irks me that we should be encouraging, not discouraging our kids to play sports they love, it should be about playing, not winning. K
redgirlshell		#8	[-]
Posts: 10835 (23/07/08 21:28:23) Surprise!!! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	Yes, its happened - I've turned into one of those mothers Oh, you mean one that cares about her child?? wow, how dare you! That is so wrong that the kids are made to feel like winning is everything. I played softball in highschool and we were the worst team on the board, but man did we have fun! We knew we were bad, but we tried our best and enjoyed ourselves doing it. That is much more important (and fun) than winning! lol I hope you sort it out.
ReflexOz		#9	[-]
Posts: 12564 (24/07/08 10:38:50) Thunderstruck! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	...some of the best sports I've played over the years were the ones that focused on the "fun" element. I've driven this into both my kids from day one...until I am blue in the face. In spite of this, my son still gets down on himself for not being able to be 'better' at sports. He's quite academic, but likes do well at everything he does (including sport). We had athletics day last week, and it's interesting to note that even the kids who didn't 'place' in events, still got a ribbon for 'trying'. Especially for the younger ones, a ribbon was all they needed to make their day. I think it's a great idea. ...I know teams are picked for the sucess factor, but where does that leave the rest of the kids? Nobody should feel left out just coz they're not the best. Sport should always be about "fun" first. Anything after that is a bonus. ~Andy's plectrum~ Getting music laid in 2008: www.myspace.com/andytaylorstudiosibiza.... www.myspace.com/evolvedigitalmusic "11"...out now! --- "it's just the WAY OF THE WORLD...that's what they tell me"
astronautdd		#10	[-]
Posts: 1385 (24/07/08 12:22:43) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	My son did Rugby union last year and really wasn't very good. When he said he didn't want to do it again this year I was somewhat pleased. We are just trying different soprts until we find one he likes. Currently he is doing Karate at the PCYC and he seems to enjoy that. He never really liked contact sports so I guess this is a bit different. All I want is my youth back......
sjk1		#11	[-]
Posts: 4699 (24/07/08 12:52:52) Bossy Boots Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	There's important games for kids under 10 years old? Exactly Mixi - how ridiculous! Let's teach our kids that if they aren't perfect at something they should just not try because no one will ever give them a shot. Bloody idiot. Sounds like the coach is playing these boys for his own benefit rather than for theirs. Cass, I think you did the right thing and any good parent would do the same. Martial Arts can be great too - my nephew's confidence went through the roof - but teamwork teaches you so much. Good luck
LurkerSu		#12	[-]
Posts: 1576 (24/07/08 19:59:21) Calamity Su Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite	Disclaimer: I loathe sports - all sports. So I don't feel I can add much. However, I do remember once babysitting for a friend and taking a child to Saturday morning sport. I think it was a rugby game - I really know nothing about sport - anyway, the most memorable part for me was when the ref, seeing that the child who had the sport was struggling to make it to the goal (right word?), actually picked said child up and ran with him, so he'd score. We - babysitters/caregivers/parents - laughed and clapped and cheered, for the boy and for the ref, and I thought, there's a ref who gets it. Just thought I'd share that. Su Spend time with music you love

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